We've almost made it through the holidays. Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. Maddie and I are having a party with our closest friends to celebrate a new year, a new beginning, a new start.
I'm a huge fan of New Year's. No, a calendar shouldn't mark a chance to start over, but I like the idea that as a society, we decide to together. And no, New Year's resolutions aren't necessarily the most productive, but it's the hope that really counts. I hope 2015 will be a good year for me. I plan on doing as much self-care as possible, keeping up with this blog, and just overall focusing on accepting who I am as a person. We'll see how this goes. But for now, links... Suicide Note -- It's necessary to start today's post with something entirely tragic. Leelah Alcorn tragically took her life two days ago. I am devastated by the circumstances that led to her decision to kill herself. Misgendering a human is an act of violence. Shame on Leelah's parents. And to take a very important quote from her other post before ending her life: "Also, anyone who says something like “I wish I got to know him better” or “I wish I treated him better” gets a punch in the nose." My heart is breaking for Leelah and so many in her situation. If you're reading this and you identify as trans, I want you to know that I will do what I can to be an ally (but I'll be likely to fail). The trans lifeline is another option: 877-565-8860. You deserve more than what you're dealing with. You are worth everything. No-Churn Raspberry Chocolate Chip Ice Cream -- I started looking at ice cream recipes again. I blame Sherry. Quick Garlicky Parmesan Crostini -- Garlic is always the answer. We're married!!!!!! -- these are the cutest wedding photos. Red Wine Velvet -- If I thought I could actually use wine for cooking and not drink it, I'd make this. Wait a minute. I didn't say that. Fruity Pebble Funfetti Cake -- It's childhood. And cake. Oh my god. 49 Tremendous Things That Florida Men Accomplished This Year -- I love the Florida Man. I really really really do. Taylor Swift Mash-up-- This is so pretty it hurts. Fine Ass Lines -- I like blogs. That's all I have for today. Let's hope 2015 we all work to become better, happier, more aware and supportive human beings. It's a new beginning.
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I think it's time to tell you all a story. I have an incredibly intense relationship with donuts and a lot of it is connected to nostalgia. When I was little, I spent a significant amount of time at my grandparents' house near Hinckley, MN. My grandparents were always warm and welcoming. My sister and I spent weekends at a time making a disaster of their house as we made crafts, played with Legos, Barbies, and buttons. When it was warm enough out we wandered outside around the land. Every evening we'd sit together in the living room with low lighting. We'd stare out the window and wait for deer to come up to the feeder. We had named every single deer we ever saw. Around 8:30, we'd go to sleep (terrorizing our grandparents tired us out). Sunday rolled around out of nowhere, as it always seemed to do. Morgan and I went to church with our grandparents. Morgan never wanted to, but I delighted in spending more time with my Grandma Pat and Papa Gene. I'd go up the stairs and sing in the choir with my grandma, even if I had no clue what I was singing. After mass, my admittedly favorite part was stopping at the local grocery store where Papa Gene would let us pick out some donuts (and always undoubtedly a bag of candy for each of us. I think I got my sweet tooth from him). We would return to their little house, devour the donuts, and resume playing until it was time to go home with our mom. Donuts hold a special place in my heart, as I grew up sharing them with some very special people. Now I'm not usually sappy or anything, but I just saw my grandparents yesterday. They might be complete dorks, but their dorkiness warms my heart. They hold a heavy influence on me and I wouldn't be entirely the person I am today without them (well. Duh. that's sorta how biology works. Shut up, Courtney. We were just getting cutesy). Granted, I'm a huge fan of raised donuts, I know that they're not in the cards for me. I'm entirely terrified of frying things. It's dangerous. We shouldn't allow me near hot oil of any sort. Luckily for me, donut pans exist! I've been drooling over donuts my favorite food bloggers have been making for well over a year. My mom (the best person on the entire planet) told Santa I needed these pans in my life. I was more excited than I have been over any gift in a long time.
This is the beginning of a new chapter with new donuts. New donuts with potentially more sophisticated flavors. I'm thrilled to share them with you, if I don't drool all over my keyboard and ruin my laptop first. The best way to spread Festivus cheer is to post pictures of lit Christmas trees for all to see. Wait a minute. That's not right.
I may be a dirty rotten heathen, but I completely buy into the commercialized idea of Christmas. I blame my mom for this. I grew up watching Christmas movies obsessively (Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?), being held to standards of decorating our tree, and baking a crap ton of cookies, then attending about six Christmases, because my family is dysfunctional and ginormous. Does anyone else have any idea how many Elf references I've already made in this blog post? Needless to say, I have more Christmas things in my apartment than my roommate probably ever anticipated. I'm probably driving her crazy. I have no idea what "overboard" means when it comes to Christmas decorations, because in my world... Yes it was entirely necessary to put a Santa hat on my poster of Hillary Clinton and to decorate all of our windows with glittery handmade snowflakes. I might not believe in God/Jesus/all that stuff, but can't I believe in Rudolph? Basically what I'm saying is that I'm a lunatic. Love me, hate me... Whatever. If you don't celebrate Christmas or Festivus, I sincerely hope you have a wonderful next couple of days. I hope they're peaceful or full of warm and fuzzy feelings (even if those warm and fuzzy feelings are coming from booze. Whatever floats your boat, yo). For now, we have links. On this Festivus Tuesday, I'm digging: Former Harbor City adviser gets year in prison -- This scumbag entirely deserves it (well and in my opinion, more than a year in prison). I feel no pity for sex offenders. I know the victim survivor in this case. She is courageous. I hope this sentencing has brought her some peace of mind. She is brilliant and only deserves the best in this world. Roasted Tomato Garlic Chicken -- I could go for some real food right now. I'm not quite an elf. I can't survive on just candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup. Cat Lady Gift Set -- Just so you know... I'm a dog person. I always have been. But I've owned Bingley since October and I think he might be the love of my life. So basically... He's turned me into a crazy cat lady. Mexican Hot Chocolate -- This would melt Frosty. But it'd be totally worth it. Gingerbread Cookie Pie -- sugar & spice and everything nice. AM I RIGHT? The Pinkprint Movie -- Santa Baby... Can you make me Nicki Minaj for Christmas? Coconut French Toast -- I'd be cool with being on the naughty list if I got to eat this all the time. Chocolate Cinnamon Babka Muffins -- I should maybe start playing with yeast. Is that a weird thing to say? That's a weird thing to say. We Asked Men to Draw Vaginas -- If you're going to tell me it's cold outside and try to convince me to stay... You should maybe understand anatomy and know what a vulva is/looks like. Citrus Confetti Cake -- so pretty. Like everything she blogs... The Book Bucket List of a Twenty-Something -- I'm going to be a twenty-something very soon. Let's start this period of my life with books, shall we? There needs to be a blog post for the last thing I'm digging. As a Christmas gift, my good friend Drew Coveyou made a version of Cards Against Humanity for the University of Minnesota, appropriately named Gophers Against Humanity. I was lucky enough to receive a deck and I think I experienced what Christmas cheer is all about because he and I are sociopaths and these cards are brilliant. Maybe in a future blog post/recipe I'll incorporate some of the cards. We shall see. Anyways, happy holidays everyone. I hope they're merry and bright. I made soup, yo. I feel pretty proud of myself. I then made a mistake of waiting until the next day to take photos so the broth is separating and not looking as pretty as it did last night. THE POINT IS, I MADE MOTHER FUCKING SOUP. OKAY? OKAY. Then I decided to take selfies with my soup for my #365feministselfie on Instagram. Sure, I had plenty of cute photos of me with a spoonful of soup, but this one captures me entirely. I was frustrated that the soup was dripping everywhere (in other words, I spent too much time snapping photos that I couldn't shove my soup in my mouth fast enough to not get broth on the goddamn table). Slow Cooker Chicken & Dumplings
(Serves 4-6) (Cook & prep time: 8 hours)
Dumplings
-Line the bottom of the crockpot with the onions, carrots, & garlic. Season chicken breasts and lay them on top. -In a small saucepan, melt butter until sizzling, then whisk in 2 tablespoons of flour, forming a roux. Cook until golden in color. Mix in two cups of chicken stock, bring to a boil and cook for 4-5 minutes. Remove from heat and pour into crockpot. Pour in remaining chicken stock, cover and cook on low for 6 hours. -After 6 hours, tear apart the chicken in the crockpot with two forks. Seriously. It should pretty much fall apart. Turn the crockpot on high, then add in half and half. Cover while you make the dumplings. -Add dry ingredients into a bowl then crumble in butter and with your hands, spread butter evenly throughout dry mixture. Add milk and mix until a thick dough is formed. Using a tablespoon, scoop out dough to form dumplings. Remove cover from crockpot and add dumplings, first around the outside of the crockpot, then closer to the middle. Recover and cook for another hour to hour and a half. -Eat that crap up. Do it. I dare you. - If I were to ask a Magic 8 Ball today if I'm going to survive finals, I'm pretty sure "Hell nope" would be the response. I think I've aged 40 years in the past week due to stress and lack of sleep. Oh right. This is just college. It's where we say goodbye to all of the happy things in life. Just kidding. Mostly.
In reality, I'm not doing too poorly with my finals. I just finished one, actually. I stayed up until 3 AM studying, woke up at 7, took a test for the last science class I'll ever have to take (I'm more excited about that than I should be). Another great thing: I didn't get eaten by the Official Proctor dinosaur sitting up on the front table. Yes. My professor is a nerd. Yes. I loved his class a lot. Of course, during all of my finals prep, I've definitely procrastinated and spent too much time on the internet. Lucky for you, that means I have a whole new list of awesome crap for you to click on this week! My best recipe yet. -- Congratulations to Jessica on her bouncing baby boy, Max. When I saw this photo, my ovaries started weeping. There's estrogen and sparkles everywhere. I feel bad for the person who has to clean that up. Baking to Cure Depression -- You don't have to tell me twice. The Ultimate Pizza Guide -- Say no more. Londoners trying to name the 50 states -- Minnesota means nothing. Jed Bartlett means everything. Nicki Minaj 2015 Calendar -- My anaconda would want some... you got buns, hun. Spinach Dip-Stuffed Garlic Rolls -- If I had the means to make all of the things I want, I'd easily be 500 pounds. Crap. Soft Chewy Banana Roux Donuts -- I love the crap out of her. I hope someday she'll know that. For now I'll just stalk her blog and wish I could make food and take photos like she does (and also be as witty). Halva Rugelach --That just looks like happiness. Mushroom Paella with Kale and Eggs -- Yes please. Gay Scandal -- Okay. I'm even baiting you with that in the same way National Enquirer tried to. Best new celebrity couple: Har Mar Superstar and Macaulay Culkin, 5ever. Apple Cinnamon Pork Chops -- I'm hungry. I miss being able to afford food. Insurers in New York Must Now Cover Gender Reassignment Surgery -- Progress in baby steps... Now excuse me... One of the student unions is offering free breakfast and it's calling my name. But before I go, please also take some time to think about/pray for/send good vibes to families in Pakistan as 126 people were murdered today in a school by the Taliban. The world is full of heartbreak. New rule: I'm no longer allowed to bake once it's dark out and I've lost all my light for photography. It's just not cool. Obviously I wasn't going to wait until it was light out to take photos, because ummmm. This cake was like half gone by that time. I love this cake more than I would probably love a newborn child (and lemme tell you, I really love babies). The cake melts in your mouth, and the frosting is made from my favorite holiday candy. I've eaten approximately three bags of Hershey's Candy Cane Kisses this season. I anticipate that I'll eat at least three more. I have a problem. I know. Sue me, but please... Don't take away my Candy Cane Kisses. Whoops. Then I turned on the overhead light and took an even crappier photo. You get the point. Or something. I might need to take a blogging break to go get a piece of cake (dude that rhymed. Cool).
Chocolate Cake with Peppermint White Chocolate Buttercream For the cake:
-Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter and flour 2 8 inch round cake pans, set aside. -In a bowl, mix together dry ingredients. Beat in eggs. milk, butter, and vanilla until smooth. Slowly add boiling water and beat until incorporated. The mixture will be very thin. It's cool. i swear. -Pour evenly into cake pans and bake for 30-35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the middle of the cake comes out clean. -Allow to cool before frosting. For the frosting:
-Beat together melted candies, butter, vanilla, and salt. Slowly add in powdered sugar one cup at a time, and beat. Add in milk and beat until everything is smooth and fluffy. If necessary, add more milk, one teaspoon at a time, until desired consistency is reached. Frost the cake, lick the bowl clean, and be happy. Holy shit. That's the cheesiest blog post title I've come up with yet. I wish I could say that I'm sorry. But I'm not!
It's gettin' a bit more Holidazey in here. Is Holidazey a word? Holidazzle is here in Minnesota (because it's an event). Yes. It's 11 at night. You're going to get rambley me. You're going to want to punch me in the face. I can probably respect that. I just watched A Charlie Brown Christmas. It made my week a better one. My friend, Joey, just told me there's a Peanuts' movie coming out next year. It's not being added to today's post. It caused me to make a frowny face. Anyways I meant to post this on Tuesday (because that was my plan for this blog), but I felt a little bit like an asshole for not posting a recipe in the past week, and was sure you didn't all want a post of things I want in my life/in my stomach. But now I'm saying to hell with it! It's my blog. You get to decide if this is spreadable media. Crack Pie -- This is like the most pressing item in my recipes bookmarks right now. I want the entire pie to myself. Screw you if you think you're getting a bite. Peppermint Pattie Brownies -- This screams HOLIDAZEY, doesn't it? The Decree -- Brobama strikes again. I'm gonna miss you, Colbert. Gingerbread Terrariums -- So these are beautiful. Molly Yeh is out of this world. Why "Love Actually" Matters -- You might hate this movie, but if you do, you're wrong. What kind of Muppet are you...? -- I am a chaos Muppet who wants to be an order Muppet. It's complicated. Le Petit Prince -- CHILLS. CHILLS I TELL YOU. Bagel Bread Loaf -- Yum. French Silk Pie Bars -- Why didn't I know about this until now? The Miraculous Benefits of Coconut Oil -- Weeks later, I still reread this and giggle. NFL Logos as Dicks -- I'm so immature. Show me something about dicks and I'm going to find it more amusing than is appropriate. Chocolate Fudge Pistachio Cake Donuts -- I'm only gonna tell you one more time; I need a cake donut pan. Can you tell I'm mostly into sweets right now? DIY Star Garland -- Yes, this is entirely intended for the holiday season, but I want it in my apartment all year round. Is that a crime? Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) -- What would a post be without some goddamn Christmas music? Especially from Eric Mayson and Caroline Smith. Ok. I should maybe stop posting and instead start thinking about the next recipe I'm going to try/post about. Suggestions are always welcome. Peace out, homies. |
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